The door slammed shut as the mother left the room leaving a tangible void that still poured sadness and defeat out into the room.

Sarah shook violently. She could feel the tears forcing their way out.

“No, no, no”

She refused to feel this; all her hard work couldn’t go to waste. Sarah could feel an ignored and huge space making it self known to her. She knew what she would have to do to stop her self from feeling this way.

 
She pulled the case from underneath the bed, observing it with some trepidation. This had to be done properly. No mistakes could be made. Sarah checked the time. It was 7.32, she had an hour and no more to start and finish the job at hand.

 
Sarah clicked open the case and viewed the vast array of forbidden colour that greeted her. With a shaking hand she reached in and carefully chose a mars bar, eyeing it suspiciously before tearing at the wrapper. In a few mouthfuls the chocolate was devoured. Exhilaration and defeat clambered for victory in Sarah’s mind as she felt the chocolate lie heavily in the shrunken sack of her stomach. Sarah clawed into the case not caring what she grabbed. Tears flowed as she rammed food into her mouth. She only stopped briefly to punch herself and pull her hair. She couldn’t stand herself for being so weak, so pathetic. It was her mothers fault that she was doing this, look what she had made her do. By now the pain in Sarah’s stomach was becoming almost unbearable. It was time.

 
Sarah stared down into the blue tinged water, supporting herself with one hand whilst the other one made its way around to her mouth. She opened her mouth and let her fingers explore inside until they found the right spot, she could feel her knuckles grazing against he front teeth as she made a desperate stabbing motion in her throat. A familiar and comforting movement started in her stomach and within seconds Sarah started to retch before vomiting out all the tension and hate alongside the contents of her stomach. The motion was repeated over and over again till there was nothing left to bring up. Sarah grabbed the glass she had brought with her and filled it with water before guzzling it down. She had to be sure it was all gone, that it was all out. Again Sarah went through the process of her own private exorcism, all the while carefully scrutinising what was coming up. Finally satisfied with what she saw she flushed the contents of the bowl away, before collapsing in an exhausted heap on the toilet floor.

 

After cleaning up and brushing her teeth, Sarah stared at the reflection in the mirror. She knew that she had absorbed some of what she had eaten, but how much, how many calories and how long would it take to burn them all off? Sarah striped off all her clothes and stood on the scales, they read 5st 9lLbs, the same as yesterday, however Sarah knew they wouldn’t register any change below a pound, just like she knew that she had gained. Focus was what she needed, focus and discipline. Sarah returned to her room to plan her new eating and exercise strategy. Her, escape strategy.